Miracle Baby

I would feel ungrateful if I didn't shout this out to the world, especially with our recent reminders about gratitude and how important it is to share our gratitude. So technically, this blog is dedicated to my Heavenly Father, but I figured it would be nice to share the news with my family  and friends too. :)
First thing's first. Ever since having Kryton more than a year ago I've had complications. Continual bleeding, and lots of other things. I've been in and out of the doctor including having a minor surgery in May.
Now I need to preface this with 1 fact. My husband used his Priesthood to give me a blessing before the first surgery. In it I was told that the Lord was completely aware of me and that through everything I would go through I would see His hand and know that He was in control.
After the surgery we had a few more visits but I'd pretty much resigned myself to whatever my body decided to do, then I had the day of pain. I was out of the office working at a client. I had a little discomfort and went to the restroom where I proceeded to die. It was worse than a gall bladder attack. Worse than natural labor. Worse than going from a 1 to a 10 in 1 hr. I thought I was going to throw up, but I couldn't move to do it. I was sweating because of the intensity of the pain. When I finally could move again I just lay on the bathroom floor for about fifteen minutes. From there I moved cautiously to a couch just outside the bathroom and waited another ten minutes. From there I made it all the way back to my team and then lay on the ground behind our little area and out of sight for another fifteen minutes. My boss said I was as white as a sheet. She was really worried.
The next day I scheduled an appointment with the doctor. I was still tender but I'd had no other similar pain. Still, that's not something I was willing to ignore. So I went and they pushed around on my guts and wanted to just pass it off as a gastrointestinal thing. That wasn't enough for me. I kept insisting on more and the doctor finally authorized an ultrasound.
The ultrasound happened soon after and while in there the technician saw an abnormal amount of blood being pumped into one spot of my uterus. In addition there was a large section of abnormal coloring. It was obvious. Even I could see it. H
er concern, although very well hidden, was obvious as well. She took the measurements, did some excruciating things to try to make sure it wasn't connected to the ovary, and ordered a pregnancy test just in case it was a tubal pregnancy.
It wasn't.
So the doctor ran blood tests to verify that it wasn't cancerous and we scheduled a surgery to remove the unknown mass.
The surgery ended up getting pushed out a bit and didn't happen till about 6 weeks after that ultrasound appointment.
Now for the miracles.
I prepped myself for the surgery. I had people fasting and praying for me, I was a little worried because there was a decent chance that the doctor would have to take the ovary as well. Jason took time off work and together we dropped the kids off at preschool and then spent the day together until we needed to go in to the hospital.
We got in, got prepped, and then the nurse came over and started getting me all ready to get fluidized (prepping me for surgery). As she lifts my arm to put in the needle another nurse comes in the room. She glances toward me and then says, in a slightly harried voice, "I need to talk to you."
My nurse almost continued with the injection, but after a second she put the needle down and followed her co-worker from the room. They were gone for 20 minutes while Jason and I laughed.
When she came back she said that the doctor was on his way and needed to speak to me before we proceeded. We waited another 20 minutes, now getting just a little annoyed with the fact that things weren't moving forward. Then the doctor appeared with a strange grin. "We can't do the surgery today. You're pregnant."
"Wha?"
"Your pregnancy test came back positive, so we can't do the surgery."
"But you just took a pregnancy test at our last visit?"
"Yes, and it was negative."

Let me pause here and explain why this is a miracle: I mentioned complications. One of these complications is that my body was continually shedding the uterin lining. Pregnancy under those circumstances was thought nearly impossible. On top of that the 5 years between Kryton and Alisabeth suggested that we were going to have a tough time with kids in general. Let's add into this story the fact that Jason is gone for 1/2 the week every week, and I was too shocked to speak.

The doctor congratulated us, but also gave us the warning: The size of the mass that we had seen suggested there would be complications. It could continue to grow and wrap around the fallopian tube, it could damage the baby or hamper it's growth. There was no way to tell, but he was optimistic and said that if the baby survived to the second trimester he would be able to perform surgery at that time and remove it without endangering the baby too much.

We went home thrilled, terrified, excited, and unsure about the future. At the same time we were too excited to hide our news. We tried to share the good and the bad so a miscarriage wouldn't be unexpected, but we couldn't stop ourselves from sharing.
I scheduled an appointment for the next week, which got delayed for two weeks, and when we finally got in there I was anxious to look at the ultrasound. Had the mass grown? With a pregnancy I knew nutrients would be shunted to the uterus and that would only serve to feed it right? I had nightmares of seeing my tiny jelly bean next to a huge monster blob. So the ultrasound technician gets started (not remembering me and my situation). Finds that baby without too many problems and snaps a few pictures. Meanwhile I'm searching the image for the discolored mass. She checks out the right ovary and then the left, no issues.
"I'm going to have to press just a bit, I didn't get a good image on that one."
"That's alright, nothing you do can be as painful as what you did last time." I joke.
"What?"
"Last time, there was a mass and you wanted to see if it was connected to the ovary. . . "
Her eyes widen. "That was you? I remember that! I have a picture of it on my board to follow up. Did you get the surgery?"
"No, I'm pregnant so they couldn't do it."
She immediately shifts focus and begins searching for it. We searched everywhere spinning the camera in a 360 degree view. Got to see the baby a bit more, but no mass. Nothing. No discoloration, no additional blood flow except to my little grain of rice. The mass was completely gone.
Puzzled she shot a few pics of the same area, verifying it against the previous images, and then packed up and shook her head in amazement.
The doctor did the same. He says we'll check again in a few months just to make sure it's really gone.
Jason's co-workers said the baby got hungry. I'm okay with that.

If that were it, it would be miracle enough, but the Lord's hand is still working, and I have more to be amazed and grateful for.
I'm fairly certain it's a girl already. Why? Because of how sick I started to get. With Alisabeth I spent the first four months lying in my chair at work and just wishing I could die. With Kryton I was tired but that was the worst of it. Soon after the doctor's appointment I hit the six week mark for the baby and started to feel like crap. I had to eat every 2 hours or less. At first it was just 'had to eat.' that soon transitioned to "what can I eat?" Everything tasted disgusting or made me want to throw up. I could eat two or three bites and then wouldn't be able to get anything else down. On top of that I got a 24 hour stomach virus and nearly died. Even water wouldn't stay down.
Meanwhile remember that Jason is only here 3 days out of the week. Thank goodness we had some wonderful friends staying with us. They put Alisabeth to bed a few times because I was long gone and she was still bouncing around the house at 9 at night.
But they moved out last week.
So I came home, tried to make food for all of us. Managed to feed Kryton, but couldn't feed myself. Put everyone to bed and tried to eat again. In total I got down 4 small bites of food before I had to go lie down. As I lay there in the darkness wondering if I would survive the night (yes, I'm dramatic, but nausea, hunger and general feeling like crap does that to me). I started to pray. I begged for help. I asked that I might have the strength to endure and be able to eat and function normally. My children needed me, and I knew the baby wouldn't survive long. (I've already lost 10 lbs and it's only been two weeks).
I went to sleep soon after.
When I woke up at 6:30 to hear my son screaming I rolled out of bed awake. I got him up, we ate a small breakfast together and then Alisabeth woke up and we all started our morning routine. I went to work where I ate two meals and felt fine all day. I came home and made dinner without a problem. I woke up the next morning and repeated the pattern. Sickness completely gone. Completely. I am still tired, and I still need to eat at least once in 4 hours, but this is my fourth day and He's still blessing me.

I can't say I'm the most deserving. I need to improve myself, but I can say that Jason's blessing has repeated itself over and over throughout this experience. I have definitely seen His hand. I can feel His presence in everything that has happened. I don't exactly understand the reasons for all of it, but I can't shake the feeling that everything was intricately connected and necessary to bring this little grain of rice into our lives.
Each of our children has been a little miracle. Each has been a divine gift. This baby, however, has been the most blatant one so far. I hope that I can prove myself worthy of the abundance He has given us. To be surrounded by amazing family and friends; lavished with riches beyond my comprehension; protected at every turn; blessed with abundance and the charity of others; granted the opportunity to live in a free world where I can express my views (and let others express theirs and both be okay); a place where we are daily granted the peace to know that He is watching our future carefully; to have jobs that not only support, but give us freedom to enjoy the riches of the earth and our surroundings; to have Temples; to know of God. All of these blessings and more astound me. How can I be so lucky? How can I ever give back enough to show Him how much I appreciate it?
All I can do is pass it on. I try to. I try hard to show His hand to everyone around me; to give back. I hope my little grain of rice, and our other beautiful children will learn and know this as well. To God I give my thanks. To my family and friends I leave my testimony that He's working for you too. I know it's true. He'll prove it to you too, if you look for Him. This is my miracle.

Update

I thought it best to get up early and update the world since it's been a while and the due date is approaching fast.
We'll start with Alisabeth - after a seven week break home with daddy she is back in preschool and excited as ever. Friends are still there, although most of them are in kindergarten (as I was informed by one yesterday morning). Still she has plenty to keep her entertained. They're working on shapes and colors as well as letters. The only real challenge is tracing her letters because Alisabeth doesn't like to trace them. She'd rather write words.
We tried to get the schools around here to test her into kindergarten because she's matured a lot this summer but they wouldn't even consider it. They say she has to be in kindergarten before they'll do any sort of placement tests. . . whatever, we're not worried, I just hope she doesn't lose the love of learning.
School with daddy focused a lot on math because that's the subject she was really interested in, so she can count by twos and threes and she can do multiples as well (up to three). She also learned counting by tens and by fives (although fives is still a bit of a struggle and she needs reminders occasionally). We're delighted that she's excelling so much. Now when we play Yahtzee together she'll add up her dice scores for us in her head and then proudly call them out. It's pretty darn amazing.
She's also so excited to be a big sister. To help count down we've been picking a present a week for the last 9 weeks. She gets one and then she chooses one for baby Kryton. So far he's received a puzzle he won't be able to do for many months, butt paste, and some squeaky toys and books that can be taken into the bath.Alisabeth, on the other hand, has gotten some sun catchers to paint, a sand art kit, puzzles, coloring books, a yo-yo, games and still has more to come. (We generally chose crafty items so that we're "forced" to do them with her, that way she gets her time with us and gets to do fun art projects).

Baby Kryton is doing well too. He's growing like a lump on a log, literally, and eating me out of house and home. He wants to be big. I can tell because in the last week or so my appetite has increased dramatically. So I'm trying to accommodate him and trying to select things that aren't going to make us both blow up :)
Also in the last two weeks I've begun retaining water. I can't get the swelling in my legs and feet to go down no matter what I've tried, but yesterday I received the advice to try lime or lemon water so that's my next step and we'll see how it works. For my sake I hope it does :)
Kryton is measuring perfectly so far, no changes to his due date. I've had tons of false contractions though so we'll see if he doesn't decide to come early.

Jason is ramping up the new semester with style. He surprised himself yesterday by being ahead in several of his classes and was able to just sit back and listen. In another he's already got a good group together and they've helped each other already on the first project the teacher assigned.
Also on the up and up he received an email from the college about internships opening up with the city of Rexburg (where he goes to school anyway). He applied by email. The manager emailed him and the rest of the applicants back, told them they had at least 3 positions and that they were going to do a giant orientation, meanwhile he wanted them to give answers to five short questions and send in their resumes.
Apparently Jason was one of the first to answer because almost immediately he got a reply from the man asking for more details. The manager, Kelvin, is from AZ (the Mesa area) and seemed really excited to hear about Jason's experiences. He went down Jason's resume asking specific questions about items he's listed including which teachers he had taken certain classes from and about his service with the food bank of the church. It was pretty neat. I also answered one of the questions for him, it said: "Tell me one thing about you that will help me to know you before I meet you." After several rather dull responses from Jason I gave him one and he used that instead (by dull I mean a 'boring' description of himself). I said "Please give my husband a job because he always needs a project and my house has been overhauled twice this summer."
Kelvin liked the comment, and even read it in front of the group when they did the mass orientation. Jason has an interview scheduled today at 4:30. We're excited to see if he can get the job because a) experience and b) he needs the internship for school and so far we had been struggling to find anything in the area.
So overall things are looking up for him, even though it means a little less time with him we're all really excited for the opportunity.

And I am going strong as well. Audit season (the pile-up of school district audits at least) is slowly winding down. I was in charge of three audits and I tried my best to keep on top of everything. As a result Judy said that I really helped reduce her stress level and she feels pretty good about where we are. The other in-charge, Ryan, and I have worked together a lot to understand and improve our auditing. We were able to cut out a little unnecessary work and tried to streamline everything else. In some instances it worked, in others it failed miserably but I think we've both learned an incredible amount and I know I'll be better next year.
I also saw one of the business managers at the store yesterday. Ryan was in charge of hers and she asked why I hadn't been there. I pointed to my oversized belly as my excuse but promised I would be part of the team next year. She seemed mollified but said she had missed me and wanted me to let her know when the baby arrived. It was nice to feel wanted :)

 I've finished writing another book and it's been read and approved for story-line by a handful of friends. Now I just need one of my english major friends to actually finish the english editing and then I think I'm going to turn it in to a publisher again and see what happens. I could also self-publish it through Amazon, apparently, but I'm not that confident yet :)
And as for the CPA. . . yeah, well I still have the hardest one done, but I keep sliding right underneath the pass/fail line on the rest so I'm still studying and trying. I started a competition with Ryan so we're both going to try to be done with it by the end of tax season next year. We'll see how that goes. We're both at roughly the same level (study-wise) so it's doable, it's just a matter of finding the time to study.


We've been showered by friends and help and it's been wonderful. We've also been showered by blessings. Our garden is still growing, if the frost doesn't hit too soon, and our hens are finally laying eggs. The eggs are adorably tiny, but they're good. Only two a day so far, but we're thinking we might be missing the other two because for a little while we were getting three. . . so where the other two girls are laying I don't know, but I'm sure we'll find out sometimes soon. :(
Our home is wonderful, still. We're actually getting ready to replace the stairs. When the man originally came and gave us the estimate he said he was so backed up he wouldn't be able to come until late October, but now he's scheduled for the 28th of September so hold on a little longer Kryton :)
The replacement of the stairs is in response to two things, one we removed the carpet and noted that two or three steps were split. The splits are along the length, so they aren't going to cause too much of a problem yet but they sure cause a lot of squeaking, and they're likely to cause issues later. Secondly the steps are narrow and all of us have fallen down them at least once (Only once for me, more than that for the other two) plus a few guests have had issues, so we're going to widen the step base and shorten the height. This will push them out a few feet, but we have the room to spare so we may as well use it.
Jason's going to do the demolition with his friends to save money there and he's also going to purchase the supplies according to the guy's list because apparently he charges an extra fee if he has to do that himself (that part bothers me because it wasn't in the quote, but Jason already agreed so I can't argue with him). Besides I'm trying really hard not to argue with anyone because I know most of my irritation is probably due to hormones rather than rational issues :)
It should be a blast!

Well, you're as up to date as I can get you. Thanks!

Maturity

Audit season is ramping up. I figured if I didn't write now I wouldn't get another shot until the baby is born. :)
We've had a good couple of months. Jason is nearing the end of the semester. He's absolutely loving his computer classes and barely holding on with everything else. He studies his brains out, but apparently he's thinking on a different wavelength from the teachers because when he gets a paper back they keep telling him it wasn't what they asked for. (I read the prompt for one of them and actually helped him write the paper - did research & helped him build his thesis) he got a D on that one. Turns out he wasn't supposed to analyze the information in the articles he was supposed to analyze the writing style and support of the articles themselves. . . Yeah I didn't get that from the prompt.
Anyway, his computer classes are going great.
He also has an internship interview coming up but he recently had the impression not to take it if it's offered so basically this will just be good practice, and perhaps an opportunity later when the time is right. It's working for the LDS church headquarters in Salt Lake so every Thursday he would drive down and he would return Sunday night. I would then work Monday through Friday. . . and our son will be born in October. . . and it's audit season . . . and we do have a four year old already. . . we understood the prompting fairly quickly.
I finished writing my first attempt at a romance novel this week. I figured since all of my books have a love interest I may as well focus a little more on that and just give in to the fact that I like a good romance situation.
Alisabeth attended her first birthday party ever and dressed up like a princess and all of the little princesses sat and listened to a story from Rapunzel and then completed a few activities with her. Her comment, "Her hair doesn't glow anymore because she cut it." and "She's real." I am sooooooooooooooooo excited to take her to Disneyland in January.
She's such a big girl! Today we had an interesting talk. I gave her the ability to get a surprise if she went through her night routine without me having to say a word. She got distracted once but then did it all. When she came back upstairs she asked for her surprise so I went through the list: Brushed teeth? Yes, Showered? Yes, Washed hair? stare to the side and then look back at me, Yes.
It wasn't even completely wet.
"Alisabeth, please don't lie to me. Did you wash your hair?" "No" and she begins to cry and bury herself in my arms. I pulled her away gently.
"No, we need to talk about this" (it's been an increasing issue the last few weeks). "If you tell the truth you might get in trouble, but you might not. If you lie you will always get in trouble." Then we discussed the requirements of a shower and all that it entails. She happily (thinking we were done with the bad parts) asked about her surprise and I actually felt bad informing her that because she had lied she had lost that opportunity. She started to cry, but then she sucked it up and nodded and we went to bed/snuggle time.
I hope it sticks, but she's such a smart girl I think it will. It was cool though to have a conversation where she didn't immediately start whining and I wasn't yelling because she was whining. (Or her passive aggressive tendency to speak over top of someone when they're correcting her)
Kryton is doing well too. He rolls around, kicks and punches for most of the day but sleeps well though the night. He's an early riser like his daddy. He's definitely bigger, but my appointment on Friday measured him spot on where he should be.
That's our last two months in a nutshell.

Really? 4 months?!?!

I swear time did not go this fast when I was pregnant with Alisabeth! I'm already at the 4 month mark! Our due date remains October 9th but I still think they're wrong somehow. This child is much bigger than Alisabeth was. (Or my body is more willing to pooch out, whatever the case). I've already got a nice baby belly though it remains small enough to hide behind most of my work clothes. :)
We survived tax season (it was actually not bad at all, but that could have been because they were being gentle with me) and the very next day Jason started classes. He's loving them. He's taking 3 upper level (300-400 level) computer classes and all of them are hands on. He's going to be building things and he's already created 5 virtual servers for one class. (For those who don't know a normal server is basically a computer which is set up to allow access and information to pass through it to other computers. A virtual server does the same thing, however it isn't a whole computer it's simply a portion of a computer set aside to fulfill that function thus one computer can have 200 virtual servers running on it at the same time). If that was too thick then just smile and nod at him like I do :) Anyway the final project in the virtual server class is to hack into the teacher's server and to hack into another student's server (and to defend your own against attacks). Needless to say that is the project that has me excited. I love that kind of stuff. Oh and as a disclaimer this is a network security class so they spend the entire semester learning to defend their computers and then the final puts that to the test for everyone in the class.
So far he's doing great. He's even provided help to several other students (one of which was his mentor in several lower level classes, so it's cool to see the roles reverse).

Alisabeth started preschool again and she's loving it. She was in Miss L's class and then she was moved to Mrs. Andrea's class. When it happened she told me it was because Jayden was in Mrs. Andrea's class and she wanted to be with Jayden but I didn't really think too much about it. Turns out that's pretty much how it happened. Mrs. Andrea could see that the two girls really loved to be together and to play together so she talked to management and had Alisabeth moved into her class. Alisabeth is really enjoying it. She doesn't appreciate the fact that they do "paperwork" all day long, but she's learning a lot and she loves to show us everything she's done so I think that's helped.
The cutest thing happened on Sunday too. Jason and I were both just not in the playing mood so we both sat down with books and invited her to sit with us and read too. She looked at her book for a few minutes but she didn't want to sound out the words so she gave up and then started bouncing around a little bit. We offered several suggestions for things she could do while we were reading and finally she gave up, sat down on a different chair and pulled out her children's bible and started flipping through looking at the pictures. She kept this up until our guests arrived about ten minutes later. I was quite impressed both with her decision and with the time she spent.

That's about the gist of our excitement.

I'm taking to studying for my next CPA exam in 6 days (this is a break) and gearing up for audit season to start. I'll be in-charge on two upcoming audits which should be a good learning experience (I have informally in-charged before, but this time it will be the real deal with full responsibility).
Oh and because I'm sitting on the technology committee for my work I was sent an Ipad. I'm supposed to use it to "change the way we work" yeesh! So far it's sitting across the room from me waiting for me to even flip it on for the first time. Supposedly I can get my CPA study materials on it but again. . . that would require time and effort. :( I guess I'll have to get around to it sooner or later. If you know of any business-related aps let me know. So far all I've seen that seems useful are research tools which I can get just as easily on my desktop. (No I'm not anti-technology, I'm just anti-spend-a-lot-of-money-on-excess-technology.)

As for Kryton (the baby who I've decided is a boy due to lack of sickness and larger size), he's doing well. I've felt a couple of flutters recently, but I'm not sure if they're baby or guts. Time will tell. He's already got me in the midnight bathroom break routine and I can now eat as much or less than my four year old at one sitting. I also can't handle excess sweets (mostly chocolate) and pre-prepared or greasy foods are a NO! The closest I can get is boxed pasta. Everything else has to be fresh ingredients. On the flip side my tolerance for onions, peppers and similar vegis has decreased to the point where I couldn't even eat five bites of my home-made quiche (which I had been craving for three days). All in all I'm a little frustrated with him. Who wants a healthy baby during the one time when eating anything you want is acceptable and even encouraged?? Seriously kid.

Too excited...

 So, for the few people who we haven't already blabbed the news to: We're FINALLY pregnant. Only four and half years in the making! Needless to say Jason and I are stoked. We're ten weeks now and so far so good. The morning sickness is NOTHING compared to what I had with Alisabeth, so we're thinking boy.

Our second new addition is Kidona. She's a 2011 Kia Sedona. We were going to wait another year to purchase (like when we had the baby and right before our trip down to Disneyland) but Jason's vehicle died and he starts school in a month so after searching Craigslist and other want ads for a beater car we could use for a year we decided to just suck it up and get the new car now so that we have reliability. Alisabeth loves her. In fact we had to scold her while we were test driving it because every other word out of her mouth was "Are we going to buy this one? We're going to buy this one right?" She even offered to pay for it with her allowance.
So all in all this has been a busy month! I turned 30, found out I was pregnant, got shingles, got better. Jason broke a car, fixed our house, put in the new garage door opener with our tax refund and then we bought a new car to put in it.
Alisabeth learned math and reading. Yes that's right. My four year old can do math 1+1-9 and 9+9 with everything in between. She's not 100% yet, but she's amazing. Her reading (when she tries) is also incredibly impressive. She got flashcards from Nana and has been flying through them with ease. She does them while she's eating lunch or breakfast. She's amazing to watch.

Also this week we were asked to speak in church. So I kindly gave Jason the option of going first or last and he chose first, no big deal. Well after ten minutes he sits back down. 10 minutes. In total we had 50 to speak. We were each supposed to use about 20-25 minutes. I cursed him solidly; luckily I was using a really really cool talk on the power of prayer as the basis for what I was speaking on. The speaker broke down the Lord's prayer in the New Testament and talked about each portion of it and how we can apply it to our own prayers and I easily filled the remaining time with his and my own experiences of when I have felt the hand of God in my life as a response to prayers. The coolest part was near the end. I shared two experiences where in the moment my prayers and the results felt like "failures" especially on my mission when I felt like we should go to a particular place and we were rejected more brutally than at any other time. Yet as my companion and I walked down the road and prepared to knock on yet another potentially hate-filled door I felt a strong and undeniable impression to leave immediately, that we were in danger. So we did. And as we sat shaking and fearful in our vehicle I couldn't help but wonder at the time what I had done wrong. As I spoke and shared this experience the Lord opened my mind and I realized that in that moment I learned two things: When it really mattered I could hear the Lord's 'voice' in my mind, and two he was there guiding us because he knew I needed to understand what his warnings felt like. What felt like a failure in the moment was actually the first step in an amazing journey as I have come to understand the spirit's whispers in my mind and heart.
Another cool note: there was a woman who came to visit our congregation. She doesn't believe like we do, but she thanked me profoundly for my words and said that they really touched her. My message that God wants us to communicate directly with Him, that He hears, and answers EVERY prayer, though maybe not the way we expect Him to really hit her.  . . and that's why I love to speak in church. :) Watching him work through me and get His message to His children is AWESOME!

Well, this was intended to be a quick note, now back to work! Thanks for reading!

Gratitude in writing.

This week Alisabeth has approached both Jason and I to ask the same question in different ways:
"When am I getting the sister I asked for a long time ago?" and "When will my sister and two brothers be here?" Every time she asks my heart breaks, and then it aches.
No we never shared with her about the fact that we were trying to adopt, but that's not a possibility anymore anyway. We did share with her about the baby in mommy's tummy, and how Heavenly Father took it back for a little while, so I'm sure that's part of where this is coming from, but that doesn't make it any easier to hear.
And then I take a look at my life and I wonder how I can be so ungrateful! We have the most amazing job with a company that cares enough so that they come into my office at least once a week to make sure I don't feel overworked; a company who listened to me say "my family comes first" and never questioned me on it; a company who understands that I won't be working for them more than a few years (until Jason graduates and finds a job) and still treats me like everyone else when it comes to promotions and opportunities.
Really? How can I complain.
My husband is doing amazingly in school, he's putting all of his efforts into his classes even when he feels like they're kicking his butt. At the same time he's being a stay-at-home dad, our mechanic, our house fixer, the keeper of our home, our leader, an adoring husband and an active member at church (which requires quite a bit of time since he's a secretary). He's attentive and willing and patient and amazing and he stretches himself daily.
How can I complain?
I've also been blessed by a daughter who's the spitting image of me, has enough energy to outrun a racehorse, plays amazingly well by herself and with others (and even chooses activities because she thinks we will enjoy them). She's teaching herself to read with very little effort on our part.
The other day she came to Jason with a paper full of words she copied off of the cat litter box. Words like urine and scent and scoopable. She wanted to understand the meanings and sat enthralled at her father's feet while he tried to explain.
She also strives to say her "sh" and her "ch" correctly even though they used to all sound like "s." She is self-motivated, self-possessed, self-confident, and a delight (when I'm not exhausted just watching her spin circles around me).
Last week she even gained the ability to set her own bedtime (not at all normal for a four year old). She wouldn't go to sleep and it had become a game in which she would force herself to stay awake until eleven or later, popping into the room and giggling as we became enraged. So finally I pulled her into the room and said "How would you like to stay up as long as you want to?"
Huge eyes
"Go ahead and pick two toys and a couple of books. You can take them into your room and you can play there for as long as you want. When you're done put it all away and then come get us and we'll tuck you in."
Excitement and she was gone.
The first night she was up about another forty five minutes and then she came in and said she was done.
Sadly I didn't believe her, so I told her to go tuck herself in and we'd come in a minute. By the time we got there she was out. The second night she came and told us she was done at 9:30, the third night at 9. Last night she chose to go to sleep rather than play and then merrily sang to herself for another thirty minutes.
Needless to say, she's amazing. How can I complain?
Our life is nearly perfect. We have everything we need and so much more. We have friends that people would give their right arms for. We have family that would give their right arms for us. We have opportunities (like Jason's recent interview for an internship with the church in Salt Lake in their networking department). We have miracles daily, and the hand of God is so obviously in our life that I would never even try to deny or hide it.
There's no way I can complain.
Thanks everyone for making our lives perfect. I am so grateful for you and your touch in our eternity.

Guilt

So I started to write a post here, but realized it belonged on my other blog: "Don't be offended." So I transferred it. Of course then I felt guilty about not updating this one, so here I am!
Christmas is coming. . . yep that's about it. . .
Okay not really. Oh my heck; things have changed drastically!
Alisabeth at three and a half became the best helper, the best listener and the best little girl I've ever met in my life. No, not perfect, but dang awesome. Then suddenly she turned four and I think her "best" button ran out of batteries. Suddenly she's angry a lot and pushing all of the boundaries. She's started biting and hitting and especially spitting. It's been a crazy weird adjustment, but thanks to a lot of advice from many wise men and women we are slowly working through it. She now understands that she can make a choice to be angry or not and occasionally she'll stop mid-tantrum and decide she's not going to go that route (throws us for a loop every time).
On top of that we finally got all of our paperwork in for foster care here in Idaho and then got another surprise when we found out that two very special little girls in Arizona need a home. We're on the list for becoming possible adoptive parents. Our background checks are done; all we need to do now is wait on Idaho to come do a home inspection on Arizona's behalf and then we'll see what happens. . . I'm trying not to let myself get over excited in case something falls through, but seriously I've already got GUND bears for both of them and I'm already planning out the next year's finances with them in it. . . okay, gotta calm down.

In other news Jason is nearing the close of yet another semester. His last project in java is to create an ATM program which will allow transactions to however many bank accounts a user has. To get them started the teacher showed them how to create a microwave interface (to practice the interface and buttons and all of that stuff) I'm way excited to see the finished product. Between classes he's also found time to complete the re-drywalling of our basement so that we can move back down there soon. We have to have it done by Christmas :) And he's also working on the Amigo which decided to go out on us last week. That's been fun.


In my news I've added CPA exam prep to my list of activities for the next nine months. I could push it faster, but I'm trying to be realistic considering workload, family, and potential change in family dynamic soon. According to my scheduler I have to study 13 hours a week in order to review all of the material before my first exam mid-January. Can I do it? Hahahahahahahahahahahaa.

Life is good, great in fact. We're going to get a real Christmas tree this year (at my insistence), and we got a dryer handed to us by a lady at church who needed a new washer and decided to get a matching set instead. God has just poured blessings on our heads. No denying it. I hope you have a wonderful winter season too. (And if it's not going so well come on up and visit. We'd love to have you.)